Do you dream any more?

When I was a kid, I used to anticipate a dream. It was re-occurring. It started with me going to the living room and there sat my grandfather, who had recently died. He would ask me to crawl up into his lap and he would tell me a story. I don't remember the story. I don't even know if I just thought he was telling me a story. All I remember is looking at him. Examining every pit in his worn face. Every wrinkle in the corner of his eyes. I would run my hand across his cheek feeling the stubble from a day old shave. I could see the skin beneath his hair as his stark white hair thinned from old age. He was always wearing a thread worn white dress shirt along with a pair of grey slacks.

As a 7 year old, I was scared of forgetting what he looked like after his death. I am luck to have had this dream, as sometimes I can recall in my mind just how he looked. Both happy, and sad. I can recall the sound of his voice, and even his smell. It was all because of this dream. Even 25 years later, I can tell you details about my grandpa's appearance.

As believers we are asked to dream as well. We are told to hope for Christ return, and to hold close to a vision, lest we perish. However, in out maturity as adults, and as religious people, we begin to lose the art of dreaming. my mom used to always say, It's free to dream!" It still is.

What was it 5, 10, 20 years ago that you dreamt of for the Kingdom? Were you to be a pastor, worship leader, writer, or missionary? Were you going to be the one who traveled to unknown lands and delivered the Gospel to fresh hungry ears? Were you going to take up the role of teacher to those who needed direction and education to take u thier own cross? Were you going to be the mentor at the local "Y" in order to be a Godly influence in some young persons life? Were you going to travel around the world just lending a hand in impoverished 3rd world countries, all to the glory of God?

Take a look at John the Revelator. He was 92 when he wrote the book of Revelation. What if John had let his dream of doing something great for God die? If John can do it at 92, you can do it today!

Time to start again...

Its been almost a year since I blogged. I went through some tough times that made me retreat from the world, but now things are getting to a place where I not only need to write about it, but also keep account of what God is doing, where he is doing it, and how he does it.

In October we moved out of Denver to Greeley, CO. Its about an hour north of Denver, and i can't be happier about the move. We live in a beautiful house for the money, we found a great church where we are sitting on staff, and recently due to a promotion, I no longer travel 3 hours round trip to work, just 30 minutes. God has been so good to us, I can't believe it. My prayer is I never lose sight of his blessings.

Over the next few days, weeks, months, and years, I am going to start new.., again. With the help of a dear friend of mine, and fellow blogger,  Aaron Stimpson,  I will be dual posting on my personal blog, as well as his blog tapvine.com.  The main premise of the peice will be the development, the planning, and the execution of developing a Missional/Gospel Community in my home. The hope is to articulate my experience not only for my own good, but also to those who also desire to see God move like he has always wanted to: in our lives.

Recently I have found myself very frustrated with my life in ministry. It all seems very mundane. For me, it seems it all become very well packaged, and presented in a form that the church was never supposed to look like. The church as we know it today, was never hoped for by our Lord Jesus, rather it was institutionalized by Constatine.

My sincere hope is that through this journey I take, my church, as well as those I influence will begin to look at their homes as a place for the Gospel to be lived, experienced, and loved. And that through this Missional Transition, we will see the world changed, for the Glory of Christ.

The Things I’m Tired of!

Over the last few weeks and months I've come to a pretty startling revelation… I'm tired! I mean c'mon! I'm only 29! Should I really be this tired? Should I feel the weight of work, family, and church so heavily that I am physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually wore out??? Probably not, so here are the things I'm tired of dealing with.

1. Bills – Why is it that every day I go to the mailbox, theres another one there? Don't these people know that a) I don't want their bill and b) I don't have any money?
   
2. Being overweight – Sure it took me some time to start looking this good, but the sight of my toes is slowly starting to diminish.
   
3. Not being sold out – I want to do GREAT things for God. I want to be listed as one of God men of faith and action. I want to have an assurance that God is doing great things through me. I sincerely want all these things. So why don't I really feel that I am there yet?
   
4. School – I love to learn, but this school stuff is for the birds. Can't I just get a "buy your degree online" degree and call it quits?
   
5. Work – My job is pretty cool, but I find it hard to do some of the things I really like to do because of it, like writing. Cant it just go away, yet still send me a check every 2 weeks?
   

The basic answer to all of these questions, whether I like it or not, is no, or don't be stupid!

Is it time for a radical change in my life? Is it time for a change that will impact me and my family in such a drastic way, I will look back on this day for years to come as the day it all changed? The basic answer to this question is yes!

Are you in need of some change yourself? Need some time to really make a difference in your life. Why not try this. Write down all the things that need some change and change them. We can do it together. We could be accountable to each other. Let's get it done and make an impact on our eternity.

Moving Forward

I know I know... It's been way long since posting my last post, but life has been super wierd as of late. Since my last post we moved, have an additional kid, and I have taken 3 classes at Colorado Christian University. All 3 of which I passed with flying colors. So dont give me nay guff!!! Other things have also happened, some not so great, but I wont dwell on craziness of such ridiculousness.

So where was I... Oh yeah... Moving Forward.

I am amazed by the amount of people in my life who refuse to move forward! It could be a system they have been in, or a type of lifestyle they have accepted. A lot of people decide that just because it's been done that wat for centuries upon centuries, or even the last 10 years it is supposed to be that way, and theres no escaping it. I for one, refuse to accept that notion.

Sure, innovation often leads to utter failure. Whatever it is that you innovated can many times leave you looking like you really had no clue at all, but without innovation you are sure to lose your ability to relate to the modern day world.

Lets look at how the communication realm has changed over the last 80 years.



So really??? Do you? You think the way we communicate today is just going to be this was for a few years then go back to hand written letters, and snail mail??? Of course your dont. Youre way to smart to think that... right???

This is innovation at its finest!!! Problem is in the religious circle I find myself in, they have NO IDEA how to integrate effective, relevant, modern day communication into their lives. They went from radio straight to internet thinking, and still thinking, television was sinful and caused too much sin in peoples lives.

HELLO!!! Seen the internet lately???

Here is what has really happened. Radio was great!!! Did a good job of delivering an effective message. Then TV was shunned as a way to promote sin, thus made diabolical and removed from the home. Then internet came along and people went crazy. Why did they go crazy? Because they had no learned temperance and self control by allowing television into their homes. So when the interwebs came about, there they were, up late in their sanctified offices Googling "XXX", and "Porn", hoping to satisfy their new found uncontrollable urge.

What woulda happened if we coulda just Moved Forward? No wonder record amounts of ministers are falling to the temptation of internet porn. They never learned how to Move Forward without Moving towards sin.

Steel and Rope

I tell ya, over these last 4 weeks, I have encountered more demons than I care to talk about. It seems like every area of my life is being tested. My finances, my friendships, my relationship with God, and even my relationship with Rebecca.

But here is the good news. Its as if these last 4 weeks have caused my Relationship with Rebecca to become even stronger. I find myself thinking of her more, and me less. I have noticed more about her needs and forgotten about my own. I feel like the pressure that has been evident in our lives, have pressed us together. It has made us one even more than the past.

Steel is produced by intertwining iron and typically carbon. Steel can, and is made using other alloying elements like tungsten, and chromium, but carbon is the most prominent. Carbon is basically melded together with the iron to stop the molecular structure of the iron from shifting, thus making it extremely hard.

I feel as if Rebecca and I have also gone through this melding process as of recent. My relationship with her feels even stronger. The things we go through have melded us together and as we encounter problems and trials, there isnt any shifting. In essence, we are solid.

The Bible speaks of a 3 stranded cord and how its strength is unmatched. This is easily related to marriage. But most people find themself grasping at straws when it comes to the 3rd strand. Obviously, the first 2 are the husband and wife. But many people make the third strand money or success, imagining the security it holds to be of great value. Others make the 3rd strand excitement, hoping that a marriage that never gets boring will never get old. Countless people replace the 3rd strand with children. This is in hopes a child will fill the hole thier partner has failed to fill on thier own.

The true 3rd strand is only fulfilled through a relationship with Christ. He is the only one who can create true oneness with you and your spouse. Without this third strand your marriage and relationship will have permanent God shaped hole, which nothing else but him can fit.

The only reason I feel Rebecca and I have been able to draw closer is due to the fact, Jesus is our third strand and the one leading us through the melding process.

She's my one and only.

Let the Learning Begin!!!

Today I was privileged to sit and listen to someone I have kind of adopted as a spiritual father, during our midweek service. His lesson on Generational Curses really opened my mind. One of the themes of the entire lesson was "Unless you can come to an understanding that what matters is who you are, not what you are, you will never find your way out of the curses in your life."

So what am I??? Although it doesn't matter as much as who I am, I am arrogant, egotistical, a dreamer, a procrastinator (I'll touch more on that some other time), overweight, a little immature, and not all that great with money. These are the whats in my life. These are what I would be defined as if I couldnt define the who...

Who am I? I am a Child of the Most High King... Yeah... Thats it! To many that doesnt seem all that grandiose, but to me, it means everything. It means I am free of the sins of my fathers. It means I am able to live a life free from condemnation from the "What's" in my life. It means I am able to move forward in a Kingdom I dont belong in. I have been ordained as a child of God.

There is nothing I can do to change that. I am a child of the King, even when I fail. Even when I make mistakes. Even when I lose sight of His amazing Grace. I am still a child of the king. I think so many times I lose sight of even that. But thats because the Love of God is so incomprehensible. It makes no sense. Until you become a father yourself.

My son is 2, and we have another on the way. Mikey got a head start on the "terrible 2's" about 3 months ago. He has begun to fight sleep, throw things, give me dirty looks, make scenes at store and other public places, and begun to be all out disrespectful to Rebecca and me both. Sometimes, I see him, and want beat the snot out of him!!! I mean who does he think he is??? Doesnt he realize it is me who clothes him, feeds, him, changes his diaper, buys more and more, and more diapers, and watches out for his well being as my wife looks at him in similar manners as me??? But come 5:20ish PM, I get home from work, and there he is. Typically playing in the middle of the floor in front of the fireplace. He looks up and smiles so brightly almost as if he knows I have been waiting for that moment since 5:20ish PM the previous day.

Why cant we understand God sees us in the same eyes, but even more compassionately. Why cant we realize that no matter how many mistakes we make, no matter how far we run from God, and no matter how often we sin, God is still ready for us to look up at him at 5:20ish and call on him. No matter what else happened that day, week, month, or lifetime, he's there to scoop us up, take us in his arms, and reaffirm he loves us.

I learned so much today.

Simplicity

Todays been a rough day. Tuesdays are typically this way at work. I work as a Financial Care Rep for T-Mobile and people generally on Tuesdays complain more than usual, nag more than usual, and just plain meaner. I mean come on... pay the bill and you get to use your phone!!! It's quite simple!!! I never understood why people expect something for nothing. You'd be floored at some of the people I speak to each day. Havent made a payment in 4 months but are out of control when we shut their phone off.

On my way home, the Christian Radio guy started talking about how we as "Christians" make so many things so much more complicated, and I couldnt help but start thinking about how difficult I make my own life. If I had to look into each circumstance I either found myself in, or currently am in, I can track probably 9 of 10 back to my own desicions.

Here's what I do...

I look at a situation, analyze the possible outcomes, and run with the most logical option. Sometimes the most logical option will lead me down a path that has never been traveled before, where other times, it leads me down the most commonly traveled. Both paths have led me to some strange places, and even successful places. Problem is, I find myself wasting the success' and trudging through the failures. It's as if I am looking to turn around each failure and make it into an opportunity. Problem is, I am like the captain of a ship... going down with it, and drowning a miserable death!

So why do I over complicate things? Here is the simple answer... it's because of me. Did you read my process of how to make decisions? It was all about logic and good feelings. It had nothing to do with relying on God, or trusting in his divine favor in my life. Rather, I always made decisions based on how it made the most sense to me and those I found counsel in.

Psalms 55:22 (NLT)
Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.
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I love that last part... "He will not permit the godly to slip and fall". Bro Kelly Ventura once asked a group "What would you do for God if you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt you would succeed?" To be honest with you, I have been rolling that questions through my mind since the question was asked of me about a month ago. What would I do? In like fashion I can apply that to the decisions I make as per the scripture in Psalms I alluded to earlier, God will not allow me to fail if I trust in him!!!

So what will I do, knowing full well God has my back? Trust in him.

"God help me change my thoughts to your thoughts. Help me change my actions to your actions. Lord help me make decisions based on your wisdom. Your word says that through the renewing of my mind will you transform me. So today Lord, renew me, transform me, and make me the person you'd have me to be."