Let the Learning Begin!!!

Today I was privileged to sit and listen to someone I have kind of adopted as a spiritual father, during our midweek service. His lesson on Generational Curses really opened my mind. One of the themes of the entire lesson was "Unless you can come to an understanding that what matters is who you are, not what you are, you will never find your way out of the curses in your life."

So what am I??? Although it doesn't matter as much as who I am, I am arrogant, egotistical, a dreamer, a procrastinator (I'll touch more on that some other time), overweight, a little immature, and not all that great with money. These are the whats in my life. These are what I would be defined as if I couldnt define the who...

Who am I? I am a Child of the Most High King... Yeah... Thats it! To many that doesnt seem all that grandiose, but to me, it means everything. It means I am free of the sins of my fathers. It means I am able to live a life free from condemnation from the "What's" in my life. It means I am able to move forward in a Kingdom I dont belong in. I have been ordained as a child of God.

There is nothing I can do to change that. I am a child of the King, even when I fail. Even when I make mistakes. Even when I lose sight of His amazing Grace. I am still a child of the king. I think so many times I lose sight of even that. But thats because the Love of God is so incomprehensible. It makes no sense. Until you become a father yourself.

My son is 2, and we have another on the way. Mikey got a head start on the "terrible 2's" about 3 months ago. He has begun to fight sleep, throw things, give me dirty looks, make scenes at store and other public places, and begun to be all out disrespectful to Rebecca and me both. Sometimes, I see him, and want beat the snot out of him!!! I mean who does he think he is??? Doesnt he realize it is me who clothes him, feeds, him, changes his diaper, buys more and more, and more diapers, and watches out for his well being as my wife looks at him in similar manners as me??? But come 5:20ish PM, I get home from work, and there he is. Typically playing in the middle of the floor in front of the fireplace. He looks up and smiles so brightly almost as if he knows I have been waiting for that moment since 5:20ish PM the previous day.

Why cant we understand God sees us in the same eyes, but even more compassionately. Why cant we realize that no matter how many mistakes we make, no matter how far we run from God, and no matter how often we sin, God is still ready for us to look up at him at 5:20ish and call on him. No matter what else happened that day, week, month, or lifetime, he's there to scoop us up, take us in his arms, and reaffirm he loves us.

I learned so much today.