What do you do, when you dont know what to do?

I lost my job in December for reasons unknown to me. It was 2 weeks before Christmas, and although it was rough to see my kids only get a few things under the tree (which we didn't have), there was an unusual peace about it. Thankfully, I qualified for unemployment, had some other little money coming in to ensure the bills were paid, and even decided on 12/31 at noon to drive to OKC to see my in-laws. An unusual peace.

One of the reasons for this peace was I had applied for a position, I knew I was PERFECT for, and I had a few insiders helping me along with the process. The position would have been amazing. It was with a local university, which after a year they would pay for my Masters degree. Good pay, good benefits, good  environment. It was the perfect job for me.

I found out 2 days ago, after 3 separate interviews, I didn't get the job. And they wouldn't tell me why. They gave me a canned answer of "All I can tell you is, the position posted was very competitive." However, they reposted the position yesterday, telling me no one else has been offered the position as of yet.

Honestly, I was stunned unto numbness. I thought I had this one in the bag. I had inside help, the process went smooth, the interviews went great. The environment was Christian, the people have similar values, the school is solid in Christian standards, but it didn't happen.

So, I had to ask myself, what do you do, when you dont know what to do?

I may say that it is impossible, but God says All things are possible! Luke 18:27
I may say I want to forget it all, but God says His grace is sufficient! 2 Cor 12:9
I often can't figure things out, but God will direct my steps! Proverbs 3:5-6
No matter how hard I try, I just can't do it, but God can do ALL things! Phillipians 4:13
With a family I am worried about tomorrow, but God asks for all my baggage and cares! 1 Peter 5:7
With all the stress I can't manage it all, but God says all my needs will be supplied! Phillipians 4:19

I was perfect for this job. But God has something else in store. I dont know what it is, to be honest, but I have already seen God supply, order, and direct. I think you might be wise to trust in him for your situation as well. He CAN and WILL do it!

A broken home?

This may sound a little trivial, but I don't like the term, broken home. What's so broken about it? The fact that your mom and dad's marriage didn't survive doesn't mean your home is broken. Why is this terminology so problematic? Because people who come from broken homes, sometimes take on the idea that being they came form a home that was "broken", they must also be broken.

I prefer to say, that you came from a home that was built differently. Why take on such a negative connotation? I was speaking with a mentor and Pastor a few days ago about this subject. He mentioned he works with a number of young men at church who come from "broken homes". And now the majority of them, who are 25-28, are unwilling to fully commit to marriage. Anytime their family or girlfriend mentions getting hitched, they flee for the hills. They often ditch the girl that is actually perfect for them because they are afraid to end up like their parents. They are afraid of breaking someone else.

Avoiding situations that could cause harm, is like avoiding water for fear of drowning. One must take the chance of getting hurt if one wants to further themselves and their family. I look at it this way, if you have nothing to lose in a relationship, then you're really not in it.

So, don't think of your home as broken. Think of it as built differently, or maybe having 2 different homes. You're not broken. You are exactly as God wants you to be, forgiven, saved, and validated.

What to do with the Dream

I have always had a bit of a "entrepreneurial spirit" about me. Ok it's more than a bit. I have been attempting to start and run a thriving business since I was a kid. It might have been a service, but typically it was some type of witty invention.

When I was about 8 I spilt an entire jug of sweet tea in the fridge. It was everywhere! All over every leftover tupperware, all over every bag of fruit or veggie. It was sticky, and I was frustrated to no end having to clean it before my mom got home to see the mess. The answer: a small thin shelf that slid underneath the fridge shelf that if any liquid or crumb fell into, it could be remedied easily and without much mess.  The idea seemed almost stupid it was so good.

Now I dont know about you, but when I was 8, I didn't know any venture capitalist, or investors, so my idea just sat on my mind waiting for the right person to come along to pitch it to to bring it to homes in every city! 3 years later, I saw an ad for the same idea in a Kenmore fridge. I was devastated! But did I learn my lesson?

I was 20 something and a buddy of mine and myself decided we wanted to shoot extreme sports videos backed up by Christian rock music, and then have people give their testimonies to cover the gap left open by Christian media. We shot the footage, and then I went on vacation. 2 weeks after I got back, one of the Baldwin Brothers had released and entire series of Christian Extreme Sports videos online, and the servers couldn't keep up.

When God gives you an idea, you have to run with it. If you dont, he is liable to give it to someone else. When God tells you to do something, you better just go ahead and do it. He's a patient guy, but he won't let your laziness,/stubbornness/procrastination/ be what keeps work going forward.

If he called you to a distant land... Go!
If he sent you the right man/woman to marry and you're getting cold feet... Commit!
If he gave you a crappy job... Work it!
If he called you to ministry... Minister!

If you are waiting on the right person to come along to make all your dreams come true then you will be waiting a really long time.

If he doesn't pass it off to someone else, he might just redirect your journey to make you look at it again. Look at Jonah! Don't end up in the belly of a whale to find the nerve to get your act going! Let God be your strength and wisdom and get to work!!!

Do you dream any more?

When I was a kid, I used to anticipate a dream. It was re-occurring. It started with me going to the living room and there sat my grandfather, who had recently died. He would ask me to crawl up into his lap and he would tell me a story. I don't remember the story. I don't even know if I just thought he was telling me a story. All I remember is looking at him. Examining every pit in his worn face. Every wrinkle in the corner of his eyes. I would run my hand across his cheek feeling the stubble from a day old shave. I could see the skin beneath his hair as his stark white hair thinned from old age. He was always wearing a thread worn white dress shirt along with a pair of grey slacks.

As a 7 year old, I was scared of forgetting what he looked like after his death. I am luck to have had this dream, as sometimes I can recall in my mind just how he looked. Both happy, and sad. I can recall the sound of his voice, and even his smell. It was all because of this dream. Even 25 years later, I can tell you details about my grandpa's appearance.

As believers we are asked to dream as well. We are told to hope for Christ return, and to hold close to a vision, lest we perish. However, in out maturity as adults, and as religious people, we begin to lose the art of dreaming. my mom used to always say, It's free to dream!" It still is.

What was it 5, 10, 20 years ago that you dreamt of for the Kingdom? Were you to be a pastor, worship leader, writer, or missionary? Were you going to be the one who traveled to unknown lands and delivered the Gospel to fresh hungry ears? Were you going to take up the role of teacher to those who needed direction and education to take u thier own cross? Were you going to be the mentor at the local "Y" in order to be a Godly influence in some young persons life? Were you going to travel around the world just lending a hand in impoverished 3rd world countries, all to the glory of God?

Take a look at John the Revelator. He was 92 when he wrote the book of Revelation. What if John had let his dream of doing something great for God die? If John can do it at 92, you can do it today!

Time to start again...

Its been almost a year since I blogged. I went through some tough times that made me retreat from the world, but now things are getting to a place where I not only need to write about it, but also keep account of what God is doing, where he is doing it, and how he does it.

In October we moved out of Denver to Greeley, CO. Its about an hour north of Denver, and i can't be happier about the move. We live in a beautiful house for the money, we found a great church where we are sitting on staff, and recently due to a promotion, I no longer travel 3 hours round trip to work, just 30 minutes. God has been so good to us, I can't believe it. My prayer is I never lose sight of his blessings.

Over the next few days, weeks, months, and years, I am going to start new.., again. With the help of a dear friend of mine, and fellow blogger,  Aaron Stimpson,  I will be dual posting on my personal blog, as well as his blog tapvine.com.  The main premise of the peice will be the development, the planning, and the execution of developing a Missional/Gospel Community in my home. The hope is to articulate my experience not only for my own good, but also to those who also desire to see God move like he has always wanted to: in our lives.

Recently I have found myself very frustrated with my life in ministry. It all seems very mundane. For me, it seems it all become very well packaged, and presented in a form that the church was never supposed to look like. The church as we know it today, was never hoped for by our Lord Jesus, rather it was institutionalized by Constatine.

My sincere hope is that through this journey I take, my church, as well as those I influence will begin to look at their homes as a place for the Gospel to be lived, experienced, and loved. And that through this Missional Transition, we will see the world changed, for the Glory of Christ.

The Things I’m Tired of!

Over the last few weeks and months I've come to a pretty startling revelation… I'm tired! I mean c'mon! I'm only 29! Should I really be this tired? Should I feel the weight of work, family, and church so heavily that I am physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually wore out??? Probably not, so here are the things I'm tired of dealing with.

1. Bills – Why is it that every day I go to the mailbox, theres another one there? Don't these people know that a) I don't want their bill and b) I don't have any money?
   
2. Being overweight – Sure it took me some time to start looking this good, but the sight of my toes is slowly starting to diminish.
   
3. Not being sold out – I want to do GREAT things for God. I want to be listed as one of God men of faith and action. I want to have an assurance that God is doing great things through me. I sincerely want all these things. So why don't I really feel that I am there yet?
   
4. School – I love to learn, but this school stuff is for the birds. Can't I just get a "buy your degree online" degree and call it quits?
   
5. Work – My job is pretty cool, but I find it hard to do some of the things I really like to do because of it, like writing. Cant it just go away, yet still send me a check every 2 weeks?
   

The basic answer to all of these questions, whether I like it or not, is no, or don't be stupid!

Is it time for a radical change in my life? Is it time for a change that will impact me and my family in such a drastic way, I will look back on this day for years to come as the day it all changed? The basic answer to this question is yes!

Are you in need of some change yourself? Need some time to really make a difference in your life. Why not try this. Write down all the things that need some change and change them. We can do it together. We could be accountable to each other. Let's get it done and make an impact on our eternity.

Moving Forward

I know I know... It's been way long since posting my last post, but life has been super wierd as of late. Since my last post we moved, have an additional kid, and I have taken 3 classes at Colorado Christian University. All 3 of which I passed with flying colors. So dont give me nay guff!!! Other things have also happened, some not so great, but I wont dwell on craziness of such ridiculousness.

So where was I... Oh yeah... Moving Forward.

I am amazed by the amount of people in my life who refuse to move forward! It could be a system they have been in, or a type of lifestyle they have accepted. A lot of people decide that just because it's been done that wat for centuries upon centuries, or even the last 10 years it is supposed to be that way, and theres no escaping it. I for one, refuse to accept that notion.

Sure, innovation often leads to utter failure. Whatever it is that you innovated can many times leave you looking like you really had no clue at all, but without innovation you are sure to lose your ability to relate to the modern day world.

Lets look at how the communication realm has changed over the last 80 years.



So really??? Do you? You think the way we communicate today is just going to be this was for a few years then go back to hand written letters, and snail mail??? Of course your dont. Youre way to smart to think that... right???

This is innovation at its finest!!! Problem is in the religious circle I find myself in, they have NO IDEA how to integrate effective, relevant, modern day communication into their lives. They went from radio straight to internet thinking, and still thinking, television was sinful and caused too much sin in peoples lives.

HELLO!!! Seen the internet lately???

Here is what has really happened. Radio was great!!! Did a good job of delivering an effective message. Then TV was shunned as a way to promote sin, thus made diabolical and removed from the home. Then internet came along and people went crazy. Why did they go crazy? Because they had no learned temperance and self control by allowing television into their homes. So when the interwebs came about, there they were, up late in their sanctified offices Googling "XXX", and "Porn", hoping to satisfy their new found uncontrollable urge.

What woulda happened if we coulda just Moved Forward? No wonder record amounts of ministers are falling to the temptation of internet porn. They never learned how to Move Forward without Moving towards sin.